Raise Your Mom Game // Traveling with Kids
I could tell you stories about travel with children that would haunt your dreams.
Like the time we drove 22 hours with a child who, unbeknownst to us, had a double ear infection and her continued coughing woke the baby who HATED car driving causing him to wake up and begin screaming until he cried himself to sleep only to be woken ten minutes later by another hacking cough that could be from an 84 year old man but instead came from the four year old child, who needed antibiotics yesterday. And this repeated itself for most of the 22 hour journey. Also, why is this car so cold? Oh I see. The heater has gone out. On our drive through the midwest. In the winter.
But I won’t tell you about that story. Because it might scare you so much you will never consider road tripping with your children. And if that was the case, than you would miss out on one of the best all American family adventures that ever was.
Instead of a story, I’m going to tell you this: long distance travel is WORTH IT. And I know this because we are an experienced road tripping family. I don’t mean experienced in the sense that now traveling with kids is simple and easy because we have figured out exactly what works every time (is there ANY part of parenting that fits that description?) I mean experienced in the way that we have tried and failed, tried and failed, and then sometimes tried and found some wonderful wins. Some of these wins were found by happenstance. But many came from other experienced traveling moms. It’s time for me to pay that forward.
Today I present another installment of Raise Your Mom Game: The Travel with Kids Edition. Here are a collection of great ideas, many of which have been trialled by my family and given approval. Because, like I always say, moms are the smartest people I know. And we all love to share in the collective genius.
Have one hour for screen time and one hour of for other non screen entertainment. I am a strong believer in all things in moderation, except during car travel. We binge on snacks, screens, and general fun saved only for points of survival. However, I found that on really long drives, my kids turned into cranky zombies if their eyes fixated too long on a screen. On our most recent road trip we implemented this strategy and it was such a success. Setting a timer also makes someone else the bad guy. And somehow the time goes more quickly when we go hour to hour. The off screen time was reserved for reading, new games and toys, audio books, or staring off into the open range and listening to music, my favorite car activity.
Audio fun across all genres. I check out new music CDs from the library (mostly because by the end of the trip I never want to hear the same songs again) but if you have unlimited data on your phones and options for bluetooth connection, you could use streaming services for more options. We also love podcasts. Story Pirates is a favorite. But a new find this summer was Smash Boom Best. Finally, a good audio book is fun. We listened to Laura Ingalls Wilder On the Banks of Plum Creek this summer and it was so delightful. Harry Potter is also a big win if that is a part of your family.
Pack snacks into baggies. Fill up a container for your kids to have access to on their own terms. Does this sound like a recipe for car sickness? The idea of kids binging on endless fruit snacks? I thought so. But it turns out kids have a better ability to regulate than we know. It was SOO much better to take that endless request out of the car. Instead it was replaced with "how much longer?"
And for that, I would like to add a new part of the epic road trip with a moving car image. I have heard about this but not implemented yet. One way is to put a string across the two front seats and clip a cut out of a car on the string, moving it closer to the end of the string as the end of the trip draws near. I think this visualization would be most helpful for my visual learning and impatient four year old.
For the off hours, the bag of surprises is always a win. I always have a few things I keep for car trips and restaurant/church time. And I plan on doing a big round up of my favorites for you in a subsequent post. A few suggestions from other moms have been be sure to save enough for both the trip to AND home. Sometimes we focus so much on the trip TO a place, we forget we have to do the whole thing again in a week or two. Another mom mentioned saving happy meal toys and party favors all year in a container and ONLY bringing them out on road trips. The important things about the surprise bag is the novelty. You can hit up the dollar section of any store, but thrift stores tend to sell those tiny things in bulk for even cheaper. Remember, you are not going for awesome toys here. Just something fun to pass the time.
Give Car Bucks for good behavior to spend on souvenirs. We have not done this behavior, mostly because I hate the constant threat of "be good to earn this." But I think this would work well with older children.
Put biggest kid next to small kid so they can help them. This summer instead of putting our middle child in the middle row, we put him in the back right next to his older sister. This way, if he needed anything, watching a show, opening a snack, reaching his water, etc., his sister was close enough to help him. Also, she could read a book to him or they could play together. And somehow having both kids in the way back away from adults, we fielded fewer requests because it was just not possible to help.
Lego challenges. A friend who traveled with her five children ages 9-1 from MInnesota to Florida last spring (I know, impressive.) mentioned bringing legos along for her kids. LEGOS??!! In the CAR??!! That was my thought. And yes, that meant some were scattered around the floor (amongst all the other disgusting things after a trip with kids.) But with the addition of lap tables, it was a great break up the time activity. Each kid would have heir own baggie of legos and then I would give the kids a challenge—a bed that can fly, a super awesome shovel to help with snow clearing, a creepy alien—and they would get to work.
Stock up on new books at thrift stores or library book sales. New books are always more interesting than old books.
Search and find books are great for non readers. The library is a great place for sourcing these.
Wake up early, 3 AM. Often buys us an extra 3-4 hours of quiet driving. Much better than pushing through the witching hour.
Meals doesn’t always have to be fast food. Find a local park, pack cheese and crackers and fruit, etc. Throw a blanket on the ground and let the kids run laps around you. This is obviously a warm weather plan. But we have also brought our own food into a rest stop and let the kids run around the lobby. While pre kids me would prefer to eat on the go and only stop for emergencies, post kids me knows even a 20 minute break out of the car does wonders for everyone’s spirits.
The envelope game. A friend, who also shares epic road trips with her family, shared this idea she does with her children on road trips. Each half hour-ish they open up an envelope with a new game/activity. I think this is another great way of breaking up the hour on/hour off technology.
The next few came from my friend from Alaska who travels often with her family to the mainlands. That means LOTS of time on an airplane. These are great suggestions if this is part of your journey.
Dress everyone in the same color to help in scanning during airport walks.
Pack window clings for airplane windows, but I would argue they would be great for cars too.
Small blankets for overnight flights. I would also recommend this for the car, especially in the winter. There is something about pulling a blanket over your body that says "time to sleep."
It’s best to think of the trip in chunks, just Point A to Point B. Rather than thinking of the entire day and all of the connections you have to make, just think about it one step at a time. Just get to the next stop. Just get to lunch. Just get through nap time. etc.I need this advice because when I get anxious, it is usually because I am adding up in my head the 38 hours I will need to entertain my children in a moving vehicle over the next two weeks. I would be best to think of it in much smaller terms.
Sometimes the goal is just getting from point A to point B, as my friend described. So often we tell ourselves it is just a day. A really crappy long day. And then we will get to where we need to be and let the adventure begin. But then other times the road trip IS the adventure. I try not to let this be the expectation. I like to keep the bar just an inch off the ground. But I also learned, on the super long distances, having mid drive fun to stretch legs turns a task into an adventure. Sometimes it’s a random road side stop. Sometimes it’s a hotel with a pool. Sometimes it’s camping in a teepee. And sometimes it’s just a Mcdonalds with a happy meal and a play place. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just changing the perspective from "ugh, road trip" to "yay, road trip!" makes a hug difference.
I know I promised I wouldn’t tell you that nightmare story. But let’s say it is true. And let’s say I told you the rest of the story.
Despite the things I said along the interstate when I calculated still two or more hours left in our journey and I began swearing not so softly under my breath that there was NO WAY we would be doing this again, we made it. The car pulled into the driveway, we pried sticky, coughy, tear stained children out of the car, and handed them into the wide open arms of loving grandparents. Everyone got a bath and a hot meal and nice long sleep in a cozy bed (and one got antibiotics the next day.) And the next morning, we woke up to a home filled with people we miss ever too much. Before we knew it, we were all on the Polar Express bound for the North Pole, making memories to quickly erase the ones from the nightmare drive of the day before. Suddenly our home we left behind us didn’t feel so far away. It kind of felt like home was right here, with the people we love.
Every time. Every single time. It is worth it.
But it sure makes it worth it even more when you have a few good ideas packed in your suitcase to go along for the ride.
PS. You’ll notice very few of these ideas applies to a child under two. This is because I really have zero ideas. Mostly my only advice is to survive. So if you are a genius in this area, please send help! I have a two week adventure ahead of us and I could use all the tricks.