A Little Practice in Patience
Pa.tience
noun.
- the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
I love words. They hold such a power in my life.
Like this word “patience.” I’ve been thinking a lot about this particular word lately.
Actually less thinking, more reminding.
We've been busy little robin’s about our yard with the changing of the season (FINALLY.) While it seemed like winter might never bid us a adieu, she did. And spring sprung QUICKLY! Well, spring weather anyhow. And for me, spring goals and to do lists. Build a new table! Paint the chairs! Rake the leaves! Fill the holes! Plant the grass! Grow little buds! Grow! Grow! Grow!
And yet still, there is a waiting period. Just because you flip the calendar to May and the sun starts shining again doesn’t mean the flowers will be blooming. There is a timeline and a process and a whole lot of waiting.
Behind the waiting there must be patience.
//
There’s been some other growing I’m a little preoccupied with as well. The growing of a baby. Actually, it feels more like the growing of a belly (along with other unfortunate growth but that is a body conscience talk for another day.)
This baby growing business has very much been connected with the season. In fact, it has come along for the entirety of the six months of winter. I told myself if we could just make it through the coldest darkest days (of winter that is but again with the pregnancy metaphors) all this pregnancy nonsense would be over when it was finally warm again.
It’s warm again. And thus, I’m ready for baby.
The baby is not ready for us. The baby still needs time. If I’m being honest we still need time as well. At least a place to sleep and maybe something for it to wear would be a good start.
And here we are with another waiting period. Nine weeks, 61 days in fact, feels like a long time when you are already so uncomfortable, so tired, so ready to be done with the waiting and just get on with the living.
Behind the waiting, there must be patience.
//
“...the capacity to accept and tolerate...”
Oh boy, let’s unpack that for a second. First of all, patience is capacity. It is an ability, a strength. Having patience requires an achieved ability. And what is that ability? The ability to accept AND tolerate. So patience is both acknowledging and putting up with. It isn’t asking you to celebrate the delay or the trouble but it is asking you to acknowledge it. Let it be known. And finally, let it be known without being angry about it.
I see you little grass seed still sitting on that dirt. I see you waiting for the rain to give you nutrients and the sunshine to push you to grow. I see you tiny little buds and your hulled up shell. We are meeting for the first time this year. You’ve been here before. I’m the new one here. And yet, I will trust there is beauty behind that tightly closed fist of yours.
I see you baby. Correction, I feel you. I feel you moving, pushing, stretching, engaging. I am reminded of the necessary role I play in keeping you safe just a little bit longer. Until the nest is ready. Until your body is ready.
Until the flowers are proudly blooming without hesitation.
Until that time, I will have patience. I will practice my ability to acknowledge this time and its importance, and I will try oh so hard to not be upset about it.
It’s a practice, this patience thing. I won’t admit to getting it right every time. But thank goodness mother nature is always there to set the example for what it means to truly hold patience.
What is it you are practicing patience for?