Confessions

This post is not about that picture. Not really anyway. Forgive me. It just needed a place in the blogosphere. And sometimes when you have a blog and you need a picture, you dig deep. More on that later. 

What this post is really about is confessions.

Confession, I am disorganized. My mother is not surprised. My husband is not surprised. My former roommates are not surprised. I was all ready to share with you my final summer recap for my Friday link up. But I have misplaced, again, the camera card with all the necessary pictures. I believe it will turn up. As soon as I clean out my car. Or my purse. Or my closet. Sigh. I should put "stay better organized" on my goal list but I have done that for years with little success. So I throw my hands in the air and just admit it. I am disorganized. 

But with disorganization comes creativity, which is why instead of bringing you a hefty load of adorable kids in various summer poses, I am thinking quickly and taking a different, more free spirit route. I bring you honest confessions, a random assortment of things you may not know about me, maybe even my mother doesn't know. Nothing e-news worthy here. Just a few things I've been thinking about lately.

+ My kids are lucky if they get a weekly bath. I mean who is surprised by this really since I am not a regular bather (another confession.) They LOVE bath. Water is so calming. And that sweet smell of baby shampoo is the reason people sniff the tops of babies heads. So good. But bath time is such a THING. The filling the bath to the right temperature and the right amount of bubbles. The negotiation of how many more minutes to play. The drying and lotioning and chasing and more negotiations and brushing out tangled hair and trying to slide tight pajamas over sticky lotioned bodies. Come end of day I am just looking for the quickest way from dinner table to couch with a glass of wine and adult conversation (or sitting next to each other while staring at our phones) and bath time seems like such a to-do. So I to-don't. Until I can't seem to scrape the avocado and oatmeal out of the eye brows anymore. And in the bath they go. It was easier to justify it when we made regular trips to the pool. Chlorine is a cleanser, right? But last night, both kids splashing around and laughing and playing together, it was just too sweet to keep as a weekly thing. I think I'll try to fit it in, at least maybe twice a week? It's good for the soul. And for the nostrils. 

+ I don't close my eyes while I pray at dinner. I pretend to, half squinty, so it appears to my children that I am completely focused on offering thanks for the food before us. But to be honest, I am peeking at my kids. I can't help but sneak a look at Caroline to see her mouth quietly every word. She is not necessarily paying attention to what she is saying, obviously i'm not either, but she knows it is important and she beems so proud to be holding our hands or holding her own and repeating the same words her parents are. And the look on Elliott's face is so precious as he suddenly pauses whatever squeal sound he was just practicing as we take his hands and all start praying in unison. He is mesmerized. You know what I want to do right then? I want to reach for my camera and snap a picture. It is my nature. This is such a precious moment, I say. I have to remember this. So instead, I take my mental picture. Click. I try to do that in motherhood. There are plenty of hard copy memories of these kids. But the mental pictures are sometimes more precious. And I like to think that God is ok with me taking this small moment to try to forever be thankful for these kids. At least I'm not photographing my food during the prayer. 

+ And speaking of taking pictures, I have been super sentimental lately about my kids growing up. I can often be found scrolling through old pictures on my phone longing for those tiny little faces. My little faces are still tiny, and exhausting, so this is really silly. But sometimes you snap a picture, or 10, during that really cute moment and then never look at them again. And then you scroll through looking for something else and stumble across faces you can hardly remember. Moments that should not be forgotten. That's how I landed upon the picture above. Too much.  I mean...right? 

+ I have some MAJOR library overdue fines right now. We need to go to the library and return all 23 books. But if I go to the library with the kids, they will want to go in and check out more. And to check out more, I think I have to return all of the books. And if I return ALL of the books that means I can't finish some of these great ones I still want to read. Oh the humanity!! I love it when I am in a book reading kick. My household duties don't love it. My need for a solid night of sleep does not love it. But my soul that can't get enough of falling into a good book at the end of the day or during nap time, that part of me is loving it. Here is what I have read or am reading lately. Interestingly enough, as I wrote down my latest reads, I realized they are all memoirs. I wonder what that says about my stage of life. I'll let you do the analyzation. 

- Delancey: A Man, a Woman, a Restaurant, a Marriage [Molly Wizenberg] The memoir about the blogger of Orangette and her husband who open up a pizza joint together and how it nearly rocked their marriage. The right amount of raw reality of the trials in marriage as well as perfectly timed humor. And also, it scared me from ever having the dream to open up a restaurant. Never. Ever. 

- Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail [Cheryl Strayed] I'm listening to this one, another memoir, and I am nearly done. I enjoy hearing the process that people go through to make sense of their life and make it better. And also, it puts another thing on my list that I never want to do.

-Off the Sidelines: Speak Up, Be Fearless, and Change Your World [Kirsten Gillibrand] Mike got this for me for my birthday. A memoir about the senator from New York about her political career and how to inspire women at every level of community to stand up and make change. I have many more thoughts on this book and I want to make a whole series on it. So stay tuned for more later. But when your husband tells you he thinks your work, you know the wiping kids faces and folding laundry kind of work, is changing the world and he is proud of you, you listen. Thanks, babe.

- On deck...   Yes Please [Amy Poehler], Almost French: Love and a New Life in Paris [Sarah Turnbull], After You: A Novel [Jojo Moyes], Big Little Lies [Liane Moriarty]. I better stop being a delinquent or I'll never get to this list. 

So there is my honest account for your Friday morning. Anybody else want to speak up?