Every year around this time, I come up with a few new ideas for gift giving that I think are so lovely and worth sharing. But then I stop myself because it feels so overwhelming to throw yet another idea your way. “I’ll do it next year” I say to myself, which is also going to be the title of my memoir. Narrator: she will never remember.

If this year has taught us anything (I also realize I have said this many times this year for many different things but we can learn more than one thing, friends, we just can) it is that Right Now is a much better time than Next Year. 

So here I go, offering a few various gift ideas that bring me joy. Maybe they will bring joy to you too. Or maybe you will pin them alongside all those other things you pinned and never did. Or maybe you will remember this next year just at the right time that you need them. Or maybe me sharing an idea will allow you to think of your own idea. Inspiration is contagious like that. 

The gift for your friend group

I purchased myself a beautiful piece of printable artwork as a teacher gift this year on Black Friday (yes, I made buying your own teacher gift a thing.) I wanted a simple way to hang it and stumbled upon these very simple, VERY affordable poster hangers for $6. Yes $6! The whole thing was so lovely and easy to pull together I decided it needed to be shared. The frames also work great for kids artwork, particularly for those grandparents who think anything your children do is a masterpiece. They click together with magnets making it easy to switch out as needed. You could continue to add a new print to the collection each year, or maybe even gift seasonal prints for them to rotate. The options are endless here. There are some beautiful pieces of art to be found on the internet and an easy way to support small businesses. I think this would make a wonderful gift for your girlfriends, your book club, your parents, or yourself, for that matter. 

Here is a list of businesses I love or others recommended to me to find great prints. Some do digital downloads while others mail their prints. If you have a favorite business, will you share it with me? I would love to continue to add to this list.

Lou Lou Art Studio / Sag Moon Paper Co / Zoe Prose / Studio Paper Stories / Flying Edna / Little Truths Studio / With One Line / Emma Make Studio / The Paira Birds / Brooklyn Swenson / Jenn Pens it All / Meg Farr Design / Hillary Mueller Art / This entire post by Elise Joy Blaha is a gold mine of printables

The gift for the new homeowner

Speaking of art, I came up with a great way to create art for free on our phone. There is an app I use called Waterlogue. It takes any photo and makes it look like a watercolor print. I did this from a photo of our cabin in Colorado, and a giant size hangs in our living room. But I also printed smaller versions for family members. What I found last year was this works great with a photograph of someone’s home. There are many artists who will create a painting of your home, and they are gorgeous. But I was surprised by how lovely the photos looked when I put them into the waterlogue app. I found photos of my friend’s home on the internet (hello stalker!) and ran them through the app. It makes for a great gift, especially for someone just moving into a new home. This year of all years we have grown more attached to our homes than ever before. What better way to honor them than with a piece of (free) art. Add the poster hanger from above and you are set!

The gift for the Grandparents

(Spoiler Alert: if you are one of the grandparents in my family, SKIP AHEAD!)

I am always in search of a great gift for the Grandparents that I haven’t already done or that isn’t too cheesy. This idea came from my friend Karen when I sent out a request for ideas. See how inspiration can strike when you share?

Seeing as we are distant from our families for a bit longer this year, we wanted more ideas to make Zoom conversions special. This year for Christmas, each grandparent will receive a book picked out by the kids to read to them. From the big kids we found a couple of fun books involving grandparents, Grandpa’s Great Escape and A Long Way from Chicago, as well as favorites like Nancy Drew and the new Stories from Wayside School. From Leo, we are sending this collection of Elephant and Piggie books along with this new edition to the “How to” series for kids we love called How to Read to A Grandparent. I’m not at all sure how he will do but he does love books so I am hoping we have a little success.

In addition to the books, we included photo bookmarks of the kids, because there are never enough pictures of the grandchildren.

The gift for the kids who don’t need any more stuff

Two years ago when looking for a “Big gift” for the kids, I was feeling overwhelmed by “stuff.” What I knew we really wanted was more quality time. But how do you wrap that up for a 3 year old and 6 year old? Balloons!

I wrote down on small slips of paper 20 different ideas for fun things we could do as a family, most of which I knew we would be doing anyway. Then I rolled up the paper, stuck it into a balloon and blew up the balloons. When the kids opened the present, first they opened calendars for each of them, which was supposed to be the simple gift but that ended up being a very exciting joy. Then we had them close their eyes and dumped the giant collection of balloons on top of them. Oh the joy! We had a great time popping each balloon and reading about all the fun ideas we could do together this year. Confession time: we didn’t do everything. But that wasn’t the point. The exciting part was dreaming up all the ways time together is a gift. It is cheesy, but they loved it. 

The gift for the kids that go through paper faster than toilet paper

This was the year for many things, or very little depending on how you look at it, but one I will remember is the year my kids became passionate about drawing. We have gone through more paper and markers than I care to count. And while I am sick of picking up all of it, I am not sick of the creativity that comes from it. 

A friend of mine, Alicia, also has a passionate artist in her house and she created a great activity to spark his creativity. It’s called the “Bowl Game” inspired by Adrienne Hedger, although I have also seen it done by Carson Ellis. She made a list of adjectives, nouns, and actions, cut them out, placed each category in a bowl, and then pulls one paper from each bowl to create an idea for drawing. For instance, “confused stink bug ice skating” or “bright pencil sneezing continuously.” I plan on wrapping this up with some paper and new markers or pencils (things we need anyway) as a gift that sparks creativity, with little to no cost to me. I think they will love it and I can’t wait to see their creations. I might have to get in on this too!

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I hope this list brings some inspiration and joy to you this year, or the next! If you love getting a regular dose of inspiration and joy, be sure to sign up for my Raise & Shine Letter. It comes out mid month-ish, which means the next one should be coming to your inbox soon-ish (ish is my favorite marker of time) so don’t wait!

In mid November, Mike and I resigned to a decision we had put off for too long—we canceled our plans to visit family during the upcoming holidays. I know we aren’t alone in this struggle. I know Thanksgiving tables were smaller this year. And I know many of us look ahead to a much quieter Christmas season. We pat ourselves on the back, we collectively celebrate taking care of community, but we still grieve. 

Since our parent’s house was no longer our primary residence, both Mike and I have never spent Christmas at our home. For two weeks at Christmas, we share time with both my family in Wisconsin and Mike’s in Ohio. Christmas for us is travel. It’s Christmas Eve sing-alongs with my siblings and cousins. It’s my Dad’s Brandy Old Fashioneds and my Grandma’s peanut butter balls. It’s my children gathered at the feet of their Papa, Mike’s dad, as he tells the Christmas story for the family service in his home congregation. And then sharing in the collective sigh of a pastor on Christmas morning, as well as his excellent taste in wine around the table that night. And yes, it also means lots of driving, endless packing and out of sorts children, and parents, but it is always worth it for those extra hugs from the people that matter the most to us. 

Shortly after telling our families of our changed plans this year, we both wallowed in a mutual depression over the loss of these hugs. I said I was surprised to be so sad because shouldn’t I be relieved to be excused from the hard parts of a traveling Christmas season, especially with little children? Mike told me he recently read in a New York Times newsletter that a big part of why it feels like such a loss to not go home at Christmas is that even when our family causes us stress, our family is where we know we belong. There is a physiological sense of security in reconnecting with our people. Going home is a necessary connection point when we feel out of sorts, which is the kindest way I could describe how I feel this year.  

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I thought of a story recently with my middle child, Elliott. He was four years old at the time and asked me a question that came from nowhere, as most four year old questions do.

"Where do they live?" he asked.

"Who?" I said back.

"Them. Right there,” he said matter of factly pointing out the window at our neighbor's house. “We live in Minnesota but where do they live?" 

I paused, perplexed, trying to make sense of his question. Where does our neighbor live? It took me a minute before I recognized his confusion. He knows we live in the state of Minnesota. But "state" doesn’t carry the same definition to a young child. To him, the state where we live is our home, behind these four walls. 

It’s the long couch where we pile up together to eat pizza in front of a movie on Friday nights.

It’s the bedroom he shares with his siblings, where he bugs his sister and giggles with his brother much too late after the lights turn off.

It’s the kitchen where we bake cookies, where messes are allowed and mom practices her patience.

And this year, it’s where we’ll open presents on a quiet Christmas morning, just the five of us. 

If you ask Elliott where he lives he’ll tell you "I live in Minnesota." But when he tells you that he isn’t referring to the good hockey, the hot dish, and all those lakes. It’s our home he thinks of. This is where he lives, here with his family.

As I thought about this memory, I realized that I am the connection point for my children, Mike and I and the family we are growing. When my children seek security, they come to us. This home and it’s walls, where we have spent nine months laughing and crying and messing up and learning together, this is where we belong. I have become the place my children will one day need to return to. 

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In the first chapter of the book of Ruth, Naomi has a very similar awakening. The depth of her grief following the loss of her husband and children singes with familiarity on my skin as I read it. 

“Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.“ — Ruth 1:3-5

The words “Naomi was left without” chokes me. Isn’t this the ultimate subtitle to our 2020 cinematic experience. The list of what we are left without this year is deep.

But it’s Ruth that reminds Naomi what she has, what she is. It’s Ruth that reminds Naomi that she is not alone, is not without. She may be grieving the loss of her people, but she is also one to whom others belong. 

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” — Ruth 1:16

I want to embody what Ruth calls Naomi to be. I want this for my children but I also want this for my community, and in my church. We need to be a place where others want to go, want to stay. We need to show our neighbors that our people are their people. Our God is their God. We need to listen to Ruth when she reminds us that even in our collective grief, when we welcome our people home in us, we will find that we too are right where we belong.

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I shared this reflection as a part of the Holy Trinity Lutheran Church Advent Evening Prayer Service under the theme of “Belonging.” You can watch my reading of it here.

Every morning, sometimes as early as 5:30, I hear the squeak of her bedroom door and tiptoe taps up the stairs. She grabs her “upstairs” book (not to be confused with the “downstairs” book she reads at bedtime) and snuggles up with me on the couch. The occasional sighs, gasps, and giggles interrupt the still morning, as well as the inevitable “oh my gosh mom listen to this part,” but mostly we’re quiet, together. It’s my favorite part of the day.

Finding books for this advance reader who is also still an eight year old has not been easy. Finding the right balance between the “baby-ish” books and the “too boy crazy” books can be challenging for us. Adding a pandemic to that mix and limited access to libraries didn’t help either. But it also made for a fun way to hunt for books. When I go in to pick up my library holds, I don’t want to linger in the library. So I make a quick grab and swipe down the book shelves and wait for the book report when she finishes. Some have been misses. But many have been surprise wins which I can only refer to as Book Magic.

I say my favorite part is the morning together. But I think maybe its more than that. It’s watching the way her eyes sparkle when she tells me about a book she is loving. It’s the way she runs up to my bedroom when a book is finished, setting it on my bedside table (somewhere on the mountain of other books), and insists I read this RIGHT NOW! It’s when I notice her curled up under a blanket with a most contented look on her face and I realize I have given her everything she could ever need. I have given her books.

That is more magical than Christmas.

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I am sharing some of Caroline’s favorites from this year in case you have a middle grader in need of new book ideas. You will notice a big theme for her is magic, fairy tales, and friendships. Mystery has also always been a favorite but there were fewer mystery books this year. The bridge between the “too easy” and the “too complicated” is still a tricky one for us. If your middle grader has some favorites, we would love new ideas.

For a complete list, visit my bookshop Favorite Big Kid Books 2020 as well as the Graphic Novels for All Ages. You can also find last year’s favorites here.

Like Magic - I lead with this one because it was one of my magical finds that turned out to be her BEST book of the year. A story of three girls with different backgrounds that all find the same secret book leading them to a surprise friendship. She loved this one so much that it inspired her to start an online book club with a couple friends just so she could talk about it. It is as adorable as it sounds.

Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy - If you love Little Women and you want your children to love it too, give them this book. It reimagines the orignal story as a modern day retelling in the graphic novel style. I adored it as much as Caroline. And she wanted to make sure I say she cried all the way through this book.

Whatever After - Our first venture into the fairy tale remakes. She loves this series but especially enjoys listening to them.

Charmed I’m Sure - She didn’t think she would like this one at first because — eww, boyfriends — but she ended up loving the message about just being ourself. This one sits on my nightstand right now.

Share Your Smile - Raina Telgemeier is a favorite graphic novelists and this is her nonfiction book about how to write your own story. I think I might also need to read this one.

Pashmina - An excellent introduction into immigration and belonging in this multi-award winning graphic novel.

Stargazing - Another graphic novel with a friendship story about growing up Chinese-American. I am trying to be more intentional on providing a wide range of perspectives in my kids’ reading and this is an excellent one for that.

Phoebe and her Unicorn - All you need to know about this graphic novel series is “Unicorn.” And also Caroline still pronounces the name “Pho-bee,” even after I corrected her, and I kind of love it.

Polly Diamond - The back cover of this book read “magical chapter book series about a girl named Polly who loves words and writing stories.” It might as well have been written about Caroline. There are only two in this series so far but we are hope for more.

Missy Piggle Wiggle - Mrs. Piggle Wiggle was a favorite in my house as a child. It was fun to discover this sequel with Mrs. Piggle WIggle’s niece written in a very similar but updated style.

Upside Down Magic - A great series of books for the Harry Potter fans taking place in a school for magic.

Just Add Magic - Caroline has been obsessed with the Amazon Prime show of the same name for a year now and I was excited to find it was a book series first. A great one for the cooking and magic crossover fans.

Shai and Emmie - A very sweet series written by Academy Award-nominated actress Quvenzhané Wallis about two third grade friends with dreams of stardom.

Fairy Mom and Me - This was another surprise find on the shelves that became an instant hit. A girl with a mom as a fairy (aren’t we all, though?)

Misfits - Admittedly, Caroline only just started this series for Royal Academy Rebels but she already loves it. Another fun fairy tale retelling but more advanced than Whatever After.

Flunked - Caroline hasn’t read this Fairy Tale Reform School series yet but it is by the same author as Misfits and the series is another of the fairy tale school kind so I’m sure she will like these too.