Poor third kid. Always getting the leftovers. Wearing clothes on their third cycle through (sometimes more if they were shared with cousins.) Forced to go along to all the activities the big kids want to do.

And when it comes to toys, what do they need? Nothing really. By the time he came around, we had it all. Well, certainly not all, but just about all we need for a baby to grow into learning and play. He is certainly expressing any particular love of anything other than whatever his brother and sister are playing with at that exact moment. Our kids multiply enough trouble in this home; we don’t need to also multiply the toys by three.

I imagine I can’t be the only parent with a subsequent child and this struggle. So I thought today I might share some of my ideas for the littlest guy in our house this year. It' won’t come as a surprise to you that there are books in this gift guide. Lots of them. But a few other things as well to keep it interesting.

Add more of what you already have and love.

If you told me I could only choose to keep one toy in our home, I would choose magnet tiles. Everyone loves them, they look pretty, and the play is endless. But because of their versatility, this also means they have to be shared amongst three sets of hands. I’m sure you see how that goes.

What’s the answer? More of the same!

Building toys are my most favorite gifted item for my children. In fact, I have an entire gift guide devoted to this coming soon. There are so many options out there to choose, none better than the next, just different. While you could keep adding new and different building materials, I think its a better idea to just add to what you already have. Choose a few of your family’s favorites and add to those sets. It will send a message to the always forgotten third child that they are invited to play with the big kids too.

Something bigger everyone can enjoy.

Often we think the item we choose for a baby needs to be specific for their age. We look for toys marketed just for babies or toddlers, forgetting those babies and toddlers grow into bigger kids. They will outgrow those baby toys before you get a chance to throw away the box in which they came. This is why I think it is important to remember it is okay to choose something they can grow into. Obviously you wouldn’t want to give them a box of micro machines, or whatever else is an obvious choking hazard. But a big outdoor swing is something the whole family can enjoy (an idea I would put on our list if I could figure out a place to hang a big swing.) Leo received extra large building blocks and a tent for his birthday and everyone has had fun with those. Nothing is sweeter than seeing all three children playing together with the same activity (for at least those sweet couple of minutes, anyway.)

This year, I am making Leo something I have always admired but never felt we had enough room. I am putting together a light table. While I know he will love the lights and colors and a table just his size, I imagine the other two will be drawn to it just as much, especially on those dark days of winter. There are also great manipulatives to add to its enjoyment, like these fillable shapes and transparent letters. Does he need to know about his shapes and letters yet? Absolutely not. But the other two will enjoy it and he will grow into them too.

Board books that won’t bore you.

When you once made a career of working with young children, and then you have a child of your own, and then you have three children of your own, you rack up a few hundred reads of the same board books over time. Perhaps you don’t tire of the Sandra Boynton or Eric Carle or Leslie Patricelli books you have memorized by now, but I find I am getting a bit bored. So I have been on a hunt to spice things up in our house. And I have discovered there are so many charming not to mention beautiful board books available. Here are some that we either have or are on my wishlist.

A Little Stuck

Little Pea Boxed Set

TouchThinkLearn Wiggles

Jojo’s House

Dress Up Jojo

Panda’s Love Pickles

A to Z Menagerie

A Forest’s Seasons

Alphabet Street

If it has to be a toy, make it pretty.

Okay, okay, okay. So you don’t want to buy more blocks, and you don’t want something big, and you already have enough books (impossible!) These new to me toys caught my eye and I thought I might share. I love beautiful toys. I use them as art in my home. The anger that comes from seeing toys strewn about is lessened when the toys are pretty. Toy marketers love me. But if you are on the hunt for something new and different for your too often neglected third child, here are a few ideas.

Wooden Rainbow Stacker

Geometric Stacking Blocks

Wooden Peg Dolls

Transparent Wood Blocks - Great for light table too!

Wooden Letter and Number Peg Board

Car Race and Ball Hammer Tower

One of my most favorite Christmas books is called Just Right For Christmas. It is the story about how a piece of cloth, so "soft and red and Christmasy," was used by each gifter in a way that perfectly suited their personal skills as well as the one in which they were gifting. This is what I love about giving gifts at Christmas. I love the creativity in being intentional just for that person, and I most especially love the creativity that follows after the gift is received. For I think the best gifts are ones that provide enjoyment at many levels.

I take so much pleasure in creating gift ideas for myself and for others. But I also feel a small tug of guilt in the process. The world is filled with enough pressure and influence for consumption; I don’t want to add to that.

Instead, it is my hope and wish for you this Christmas season that instead of feeling the guilt of consumption, that you find the joy in gifting imagination and love of learning. Instead of seeing the burden of adding more stuff to your home, I hope you discover the power in play and creativity. Rather than feeling anxiety over hunting for the perfect gift, you feel inspired to find the gift that is just right for them. Gifting should be fun. I had fun creating these gift ideas. And I hope they inspire a little playful fun in you, too.

If you are new to Raise and Shine, you can find some great holiday content all in one place on this Raise and Shine Christmas Collective. But I have SO much more to share! Today, I’ll start off with my most FAVORITE way of gifting—the book and toy pairing. I believe firmly there is no such thing as too many books. Books are so fun to gift. But they are even more fun when paired with a small activity to extend the play and learning. Here are some of my favorite books paired with gifts that won't take up clutter on your shelves. And if you are feeling extra crafty, some are even handmade.

Super Hero Books and Capes

There is a superhero inside of us all! A favorite dress up in our house are these super hero capes that Santa brought. They are easy to make if you have basic sewing skills. But there are also easy options on Amazon to personalize a cape for your little superhero. I also love the messages of strength and power these books bring to our children, reminders that strength comes in many different forms.

DIY Super Hero Cape

Personalized Cape

What Makes a Hero

Even Superheros Make Mistakes

Tough Guys Have Feelings Too

My First Book of Girl Power

Moon Books and Flashlight

I love giving flashlights as gifts. And when I saw this moon torch my sister brought home to her space loving kid, I knew it would be a perfect book pairing with some of my favorite moon and space books. Imagine reading a book about the moon with your very own moon shining on the wall next to you. Magical.

Moon Torch Flashlight

Moon! Earth’s Best Friend

Moonshot

If You Decide to Go to the Moon

The Astronaut who Painted the Moon (PS I have also paired this one with a paint set and/or watercolor paper!)

A Computer Called Katherine

Tree Fort Books and Fort Building Kit

Every kid loves building indoor forts. They provide endless imagination. This is also perfect for the kids stuck inside for the winter. I have a couple of nephews who may be receiving this for Christmas (sure hope the five year old and the two year old don’t read this blog!) These are also some of my most FAVORITE books of the whole year. I could read them over and over and over again.

DIY Fort Kit - This one is a bit more advanced with PVC pipes for constructing.

Fort in a Bag - I love this one. Attaching little tabs and then including rope and clamps.

Wooden Clamps - Perfect for adding to your fort building kit. Simplify the kit but just adding a large sheet.

Everything You Need for a Treehouse

Secret Tree Fort

Fort Building Time

Search and Find Books and Magnifying Glass

Search and Find books are very popular in our house, particularly on road trips. They are great for little ones who aren’t yet readers but want to stay engaged in a book. Amplify the fun by adding a magnifying glass. Magnifying glass is a fun thing to have not just in book reading but perfect for aspiring detectives and scientists alike.

Magnifying Glass

The Bear’s Song - This is a series of picture books with a sweet story but also delightfully interesting pictures too find something new each time.

Around the World with Mouk

Look for Ladybug in Plant City

Castles: Magnified - This comes with its own magnifying glass. But my guess is its pretty flimsy.

Find Me: A Hide-and-Seek Book

Cookbooks and Kid Sized Cooking Tools

My family was a bit shocked to see knives on my three year old’s wish list last Christmas list. But I assured them it was no joke. Through trial, and lots and lots of error, I discovered this strong willed busy child of mine does best with a job. If you have a cooking curious child like this, you might enjoy some of our favorite Cook in a Book series. They are even great for little hands not ready for the kitchen. I also have my eye on the America’s Test Kitchen cookbook for kids when mine are a bit older.

Knife Set

Small Whisk - The perfect size for little hands

Pizza: An Interactive Recipe Book

Pancakes: An Interactive Recipe Book

Tacos: An Interactive Recipe Book

The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs

Happy Reading and Gifting, Y’all!

Sunday was magical. That kind of parenting magic you dream of but don’t dare to wish for. Except we still do, running the risk of disappointment.

I’ve experienced much disappointment in my years as a parent. Good grief. That sentence sounds so depressing. Let me try to say this differently. What I mean is, as a dreamer and a wisher, I often pull together in my imagination exactly how I want an experience to play out. This is particularly dangerous as I curate traditions for our family, occurring most frequently at the holidays. So as we sit in the middle of the Christmas season, one with a great many expectation for tradition, the threat level advisory for dashed hopes  is most certainly at a red, and that’s not just for Santa.

When it comes to expectations around the holidays, it seems like there are two options available to us. You can be a wisher and a dreamer with high ideals and a beautiful Christmas card moment in your head for that special memory you are going to make. This is my default. Or you can lower the bar waaaay down. You can assume nothing will go right and start dreading all the events ahead in hopes to guard your heart from this disappointment. Be realistic and you won’t be let down. Admittedly, I’ve been here too. This category of people is often where the wishers and dreamers are funneled after becoming a parent. It seems safer. Much easier to manage. Unfortunately when you expect nothing, you too often get nothing.

But what if there was a third option?

This year adding a third set of eyes to the watching and waiting of advent, my fallback expectation of choice was in the sceptic category. Remember my weary mother post? A season of exhaustion is not the best season to plan big plans and dream big dreams for the idealic Christmas season. Implementing operation low-expectations seemed to be the perfect choice.

And yet, this season has felt different to me. Magical in a way I wasn’t quite expecting.

Maybe it was seeing the five stockings all lined up on the mantel for the first time and yet looking like they were always meant to be together. Maybe it was the way the Christmas lights brightened my heart as I breathed in my hot coffee and the brief sound of silence in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe it was watching her dance around to the nutcracker and catching him singing along to Jingle Bell Rock.

Or maybe I was slowly and gently learning how to keep the traditions that bring me joy while also allowing space for them to be what they will be.

As I mentioned in my recent post, we celebrated our family’s Christmas on Sunday. What began as a practical way to exchange gifts with our own little family before departing for the Great Christmas Tour of the Midwest, has slowly grown into a very special and long awaited tradition. There’s the looking for the pickle in the Christmas tree part, and the breakfast for dinner part and the packing up hot chocolate into the car for Christmas light viewing part. And of course, there is the gifting part which I feel has become magical in and of itself. Somehow we have turned gifting into a more personal experience. The gifts aren’t elaborate. There are lots of handmade items, books, and something special from mom and dad. The big dream gifts come from Santa. From us, they are learning that gifting can be very thoughtful and intentional and hopefully something that the whole family can enjoy.

This is where the magic part appears. I had all the plans into place. The handmade gifting was finished by the end of Saturday. The schedule was set to accommodate the usual requirements of our day, a.k.a. naps. I had researched a couple ideas for decorating the pancakes that I thought might be fun. And I wanted to remember to pull out the record I love to play when we start opening presents. It sounds stressful as I type all of this. And I think in years past, the stress was real. None of those traditions were necessary. A tradition is not a requirement. But if we are not careful, we sometimes treat them as such. I do. Or I have done. But this year, I felt a surprising sense of peace. I could sense an intention in my heart to let the day happen as it may. Instead of acting as the choir director, I tried to lean in a little bit more into my seat in the audience. Watch the show. Feel the experience. Let the tradition play out as it does.

And so I did. And it was magical.

Gifting was precious. Children were joyful. And grateful. The pancake idea was a hit. I was so relaxed I had to be reminded of the pickle part (the lids never forget.) And, miracles of all miracles, the baby sat peacefully in his car seat and let us look at the lights. Go tell it on the mountain!

I’m certain if I look closely there were parts to my day that were not magical. As it should be. But the tradition as it was this year played out as it was meant to in this season of our lives. And we all let ourselves enjoy it.

Even me. That right there is the magical part.

There’s another reason for the magic and it has everything to do with how this tradition was started in the first place. It began because I sensed a longing for something that wasn’t present in our Christmas traditions. Spending Christmas traveling to see family is so special. But it also means those little traditions reserved for Christmas morning with your own little nuclear family are missing. I was sad about this. Until I realized traditions are created from this very thing, as a way to bring a special ritual to those moments that feel lost. Maybe our tradition of family Christmas looks different than most. That’s what makes it so special to us. And with the freedom to create traditions at any point a need is there, here lies another example of the magic that can be found.

This gentle grasp on tradition is my wish for you too. Realize when you notice something missing from your life, perhaps this is a time to create your own tradition. And when you hold this tradition, remember to hold it gently before you. There’s magic to be found in this.